Surrounded by your billow of smoke,
Smoke on which I wish you'd choke.
Your billows and smoke are killing me,
the actions and words that affect family.
You don't know, your focus couldn't be clearer
you can't see anything past your mirror.
A mirror of vanity, without introspect
with flaws to address you'll never reflect.
You see yourself and no one around
you'll lose it all, nothing left to be found.
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Monday, June 22, 2015
Please stop asking and read this or use Google.
So you see a baby with a "helmet," and want to know more.
I cannot speak for every case but I will enlighten you on my daughter's, Joyanna's, case in hopes to bring awareness.
Can you see a difference?
This post's intent is to explain to my friends and the general public why I get so upset with just about anything regarding my baby's Doc Band.
Yes, I am being a big whiny baby about this, but I'm exhausted.
This is NOT a cosmetic issue. I don't need comfort on the situation by being told that my baby is beautiful even if she has to go through this. I know she's beautiful. Several times people have tried to relate to me on this because their baby has a stork bite like many babies do. Please don't. If all this head band were for was to make Joyanna prettier I wouldn't have put us through this. It is not a birthmark, it is a physical necessity.
After the countless questions and comments, angry naps and tears, I will no longer be answering ANY questions and instead will refer any and all people to this blog. My child's medical needs are no ones business but I have discovered as of late that evidently God intended for me to educate the general public and bring awareness to this situation.
I know that most people do not have ill intentions when it comes to my baby's Doc Band, however the good intentions wear me down as well.
I do not want to talk about this constantly, but it feels like everyone and their aunt wants to use it as small talk.
Please stop.
For my sake and the sake of any other mother who has to go through this, do not ask questions. Most people assume that it is okay for them to ask because I know they are sincere and really want to know. No. You and everyone in the grocery story assumes this and it is false. I don't want to talk about it so please stop asking. There is a very short list of people who I will allow to bring up the issue without being upset, Joyanna's doctors, her physical therapist, and my husband. If my own mother doesn't get a break to be added to this list than neither do you... But yes, I will talk to my family about it because I bring it up to update them on her progress.
Joking about the helmet is also unacceptable. It is not to protect her head from bumping against things, it is not for playing sports or riding a bike.
Comforting a mother by telling her she's a good mother, but Susie Q's baby has to wear a helmet because she's a lazy good for nothing whatever and let her lay down on her head too much is not comforting at all. What that tells me is that strangers passing by assume that I'm Susie Q. I am not Susie Q and more likely than not, Susie Q isn't as lazy as you assume. This happens to babies a lot, and lots of parents choose to let it go untreated. If you ask me, leaving it untreated seems pretty wrong. If a baby is wearing a helmet, you can assume that the parents of that baby are taking the best care possible of that baby. If a baby doesn't need a helmet, that is awesome, I wish I were in that situation. But if a baby is wearing a helmet, it is most likely that they are paying upwards of 2 grand out of pocket to treat their baby.
It hurts so much because I don't get to hold her the way I'd like, or kiss her head as much as I'd like, and that is reason enough to be hurt.
The next time you see a baby with a helmet, please treat that baby and the parents as if there is no helmet at all. At least that is how I would like to be treated.
If I lose "friends" because of this post, that's unfortunate. I have to speak up for myself and for my baby girl who doesn't not have the ability to do so.
Thank you.
I cannot speak for every case but I will enlighten you on my daughter's, Joyanna's, case in hopes to bring awareness.
Frequently asked questions:
What is she wearing on her head?
My baby wears a Doc Band. It is a band custom made to fit to her head, with a Styrofoam like substance shaping the inside. It is hard plastic on the outside. Every 7-10 days we visit Cranial Technologies to "shave" some of the inside out to accommodate her growing head. There are other types or brands of head bands and helmets, but Joyanna wears a Doc Band because that is what the company Cranial Technologies uses.
Why is she wearing that?
The scientific term is called Plagiocephaly. You can find this definition on the link which will open a new window. (Play-GEE-oh-seff-ally)
What is plagiocephaly?
Plagiocephaly results when external forces are applied to a baby’s soft skull. A baby’s head can become misshapen from these external pressures, resulting in one or more flat areas of the head. The flatness will often be accompanied by facial asymmetry, ear shifting and forehead sloping or bulging.
There are 3 different types of misshapen heads. As causes of plagiocephaly are combined, it’s not uncommon to see heads that illustrate more than one type of deformity, like babies who have elements of both brachycephaly and plagiocephaly.
information taken from http://www.cranialtech.com/
Why does she have to wear it?
Does it bother her?
Joyanna is being treated by a physical therapist for torticolis (tor-ti-call-iss). It basically means that she has a tight muscle on her right side of her neck that causes her shoulder to raise up, and her head to be tilted. She has what is called a "head tilt." We are working to make her not so tense in that muscle through stretches, massages and exercises. Basically torticolis will cause a baby to prefer using a certain side of their body for different things. This caused her to prefer to turn her head to the left and further flatten the back and back left side of her head. She was also positioned in the womb in such a way that made her have torticolis and began her flat spot in the womb.
Does it bother her?
This is a difficult question to answer. The Plagiocephaly itself probably doesn't bother her, but the affects of it might currently or will definitely in the future bother her.
Think of it like this, when you are watching a movie and you have your head laying on someone's shoulder, eventually your neck hurts and you don't enjoy watching the movie sideways so you adjust. Joyanna would basically be watching the world sideways because this causes her "mid-line" or her eyes to be tilted.
Is it helping?
Yes. I wouldn't put her or myself through this if it didn't help.
Can you see a difference?
Yes, in fact, just this morning I took her helmet off for a bath and noticed marked improvement. Things we are looking for are eye & ear alignment, rounding of her head in specific areas that were flat, and roundness in one of her cheeks.
How long does she have to wear it?
We wont know until halfway through or basically until she is done.
So now that the FAQs are answered I would like to speak my peace. Stop here if you get offended easily.
My Peace
This post's intent is to explain to my friends and the general public why I get so upset with just about anything regarding my baby's Doc Band.
Yes, I am being a big whiny baby about this, but I'm exhausted.
This is NOT a cosmetic issue. I don't need comfort on the situation by being told that my baby is beautiful even if she has to go through this. I know she's beautiful. Several times people have tried to relate to me on this because their baby has a stork bite like many babies do. Please don't. If all this head band were for was to make Joyanna prettier I wouldn't have put us through this. It is not a birthmark, it is a physical necessity.
After the countless questions and comments, angry naps and tears, I will no longer be answering ANY questions and instead will refer any and all people to this blog. My child's medical needs are no ones business but I have discovered as of late that evidently God intended for me to educate the general public and bring awareness to this situation.
I know that most people do not have ill intentions when it comes to my baby's Doc Band, however the good intentions wear me down as well.
I do not want to talk about this constantly, but it feels like everyone and their aunt wants to use it as small talk.
Please stop.
For my sake and the sake of any other mother who has to go through this, do not ask questions. Most people assume that it is okay for them to ask because I know they are sincere and really want to know. No. You and everyone in the grocery story assumes this and it is false. I don't want to talk about it so please stop asking. There is a very short list of people who I will allow to bring up the issue without being upset, Joyanna's doctors, her physical therapist, and my husband. If my own mother doesn't get a break to be added to this list than neither do you... But yes, I will talk to my family about it because I bring it up to update them on her progress.
Joking about the helmet is also unacceptable. It is not to protect her head from bumping against things, it is not for playing sports or riding a bike.
Comforting a mother by telling her she's a good mother, but Susie Q's baby has to wear a helmet because she's a lazy good for nothing whatever and let her lay down on her head too much is not comforting at all. What that tells me is that strangers passing by assume that I'm Susie Q. I am not Susie Q and more likely than not, Susie Q isn't as lazy as you assume. This happens to babies a lot, and lots of parents choose to let it go untreated. If you ask me, leaving it untreated seems pretty wrong. If a baby is wearing a helmet, you can assume that the parents of that baby are taking the best care possible of that baby. If a baby doesn't need a helmet, that is awesome, I wish I were in that situation. But if a baby is wearing a helmet, it is most likely that they are paying upwards of 2 grand out of pocket to treat their baby.
It hurts so much because I don't get to hold her the way I'd like, or kiss her head as much as I'd like, and that is reason enough to be hurt.
The next time you see a baby with a helmet, please treat that baby and the parents as if there is no helmet at all. At least that is how I would like to be treated.
If I lose "friends" because of this post, that's unfortunate. I have to speak up for myself and for my baby girl who doesn't not have the ability to do so.
Thank you.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Hip Baby GOOD NEWS
So you're baby has or might have hip dysplasia.
Take a deep breath, don't worry.
I'm sure most people who read this are just like I was, you heard something might be "wrong" with your baby. Your nurse or doctor delivered your baby and said "There is a slight hip click" or maybe something happened during delivery to cause your baby's hip(s) to shift.
Whatever your case may be, calm down, STOP GOOGLING and breathe.
This is GOOD news.
Good news?! Alright, you must think I'm crazy, but think about it. Only a few years ago they wouldn't have caught this and your baby would probably have to undergo surgery at a later age.
The good news is you have a happy, healthy baby, and you're a good mom for taking great care of your baby. Your little bundle isn't going to remember wearing a hip brace when they are 11 years old and running around on a playground, they will be 11 years old and getting to run around on a playground!!! :)
I'll admit, when I first heard about my baby's hip click these were not my thoughts. I googled high and low and did not find a single comforting thing. That is why I am writing this now. Not only to comfort you, but to acknowledge for myself that everything is okay.
I'll share my story with you, please feel free to share your "hip baby's" story with me on here for future googling mom's who are looking for comforting answers.
I LOVE pinterest, and I love blogs and bloggers. I follow a few religiously, and feel like I know all about their life. The one thing I don't like about blogs is that a lot of times the picture they put up will be all knowing and tips that you "MUST know" or that "ALL mom" need to read. No. I will be the first to admit to you that I don't know everything, especially not everything about hip dysplasia. I'm not a doctor, and I am only a first time mother myself. That being said, this is my disclaimer. I am merely here to comfort you, and share our story with you.
Throughout my pregnancy I was told I'd be having a big baby. I took 3 glucose tests, and passed them all. We just have big genes! In fact, it took me bringing in my 6'4" husband to my appointment at 9 months for my doctor to realize that this baby was doomed to be huge, rather this momma was doomed to carry huge babies.
(side bar: don't let people make you feel bad if your husband can't go to all or any of the appointments with you, there are a TON and in the words of Sweet Brown, "AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT!")
moving on...
The appointment that my husband joined me at was quite eventful, but let's just keep it at this: There is a reason why women carry and birth babies and not men. My husband got a little queasy over all the medical talk to come.
My awesome doctor, I seriously love her so much, let us know that Joyanna would most likely need to be born via C-section because of her position and size. I cried. I wanted to be all natural just like my mom and have no drugs. I got over it quickly though. I mean, it was pretty exciting to get to pick her birthday and time, looking at the brighter side of things.
We stay at the hospital and try to figure out this whole parenting thing. Right when we get the hang of nurses helping us do everything, they send us home! Um, can I get a nurse to go please?!
We get home, we try to figure things out, it is hard. We are tired. The usual stuff. The one thing that was GREAT about Joyanna was that she would sleep anywhere! We would just set her down in her bassinet, she'd somehow be on her side every time we woke up, and be sleeping contently.
"Uh, her what?!"
No, just kidding, I'd already been googling at this point and seen and read my fair share of medical articles.
The orthopedic doctor also said that she wouldn't even "realize" that she disliked the brace at first. But she did.
So many times as new first time mothers we hear things about spoiling our babies. ENOUGH! My baby is a part of me, and I know me. If I'm upset about something I want comfort, I want to be held.
The first week she had the brace she slept on us. GASP! *Que all the meanies from my birth board on BBC who know everything about motherhood.* The cool thing about the brace is that her legs were in a position that "hugged" my body just perfectly so she was really secure on me once we tucked a blanket around her and my bodies and I slept with my hand on top of her back just in case.
After that first week we have been able to put her back in her bassinet and lay her down to sleep. Mainly thanks to my husband being so skinny and Joyanna's inability to get comfortable laying on him through the night on my "nights off." You go Dad!
The great thing is, she's been in it for 3 almost 4 weeks and time has FLOWN. The only issues it has given us are on our part, and I would much rather bare the burden of the brace than her having to have surgery later on in life. If I can prevent my baby from surgery, you better believe I'm going to!
Here are some helpful tips for "hip babies":
Lysol is your friend.
We aren't supposed to have her out of her brace unless she is bathing, so when she threw up all over it, we had to think fast and clean it. We also had to get rid of the awful smell.
Request a second brace as soon as they will give you one.
We didn't get a second brace until her second appointment two weeks later, but needed it much sooner than that! How else do you think we found out we needed Lysol disinfectant spray?!
Quilts and afghans.
When Joyanna would get laid down in the living room to sleep during the day her little limbs where flying free. Her heavier blankets help to press them down a little bit and keep them from flying around and waking her up, but also don't hyper extend her hips in the process.
Dresses!
This one I would say is just for the girls, but if you want to put your boy in a dress do what pleases you. I put a white or mostly white with the exception of a graphic on the chest onesie on her under the straps and a dress over the straps! It is cute and helps people to stop bothering you for a little while with the questions.
Speak up.
If you don't want to talk about it, for the most part, people will stop if you ask them...or in my case tell them. If people won't stop talking about it, now is a good time to reconsider that friendship. :p
Also, when people ask to hold the baby, let them know that he/she has to be held differently than a baby without a brace, keeping their legs apart. I know I didn't want to waste all my time I'd put in by holding her special ways to be polite. Here are Joyanna's grandma's holding her.
and lastly
Mother's intuition and common sense.
"The rules" are still rules for a reason, "back is best" and all that jazz. Sometimes though it is healthy to take a step back from the books and internet and think for ourselves! I know I personally got very stressed out trying to follow all sorts of advice. It was like I forgot that my brain existed and I was allowed to us it to figure things out!
I hope that you're a little more at ease. Good luck, and know that you're a good mom for taking great care of your baby!
Take a deep breath, don't worry.
I'm sure most people who read this are just like I was, you heard something might be "wrong" with your baby. Your nurse or doctor delivered your baby and said "There is a slight hip click" or maybe something happened during delivery to cause your baby's hip(s) to shift.
Whatever your case may be, calm down, STOP GOOGLING and breathe.
This is GOOD news.
Good news?! Alright, you must think I'm crazy, but think about it. Only a few years ago they wouldn't have caught this and your baby would probably have to undergo surgery at a later age.
 |
| Just look at that happy little girl up there, wearing her fashionable owl cloth diaper and workin' it!! Man she's cute. |
The good news is you have a happy, healthy baby, and you're a good mom for taking great care of your baby. Your little bundle isn't going to remember wearing a hip brace when they are 11 years old and running around on a playground, they will be 11 years old and getting to run around on a playground!!! :)
I'll admit, when I first heard about my baby's hip click these were not my thoughts. I googled high and low and did not find a single comforting thing. That is why I am writing this now. Not only to comfort you, but to acknowledge for myself that everything is okay.
I'll share my story with you, please feel free to share your "hip baby's" story with me on here for future googling mom's who are looking for comforting answers.
I LOVE pinterest, and I love blogs and bloggers. I follow a few religiously, and feel like I know all about their life. The one thing I don't like about blogs is that a lot of times the picture they put up will be all knowing and tips that you "MUST know" or that "ALL mom" need to read. No. I will be the first to admit to you that I don't know everything, especially not everything about hip dysplasia. I'm not a doctor, and I am only a first time mother myself. That being said, this is my disclaimer. I am merely here to comfort you, and share our story with you.
Our story:
Throughout my pregnancy I was told I'd be having a big baby. I took 3 glucose tests, and passed them all. We just have big genes! In fact, it took me bringing in my 6'4" husband to my appointment at 9 months for my doctor to realize that this baby was doomed to be huge, rather this momma was doomed to carry huge babies.
(side bar: don't let people make you feel bad if your husband can't go to all or any of the appointments with you, there are a TON and in the words of Sweet Brown, "AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT!")
moving on...
The appointment that my husband joined me at was quite eventful, but let's just keep it at this: There is a reason why women carry and birth babies and not men. My husband got a little queasy over all the medical talk to come.
My awesome doctor, I seriously love her so much, let us know that Joyanna would most likely need to be born via C-section because of her position and size. I cried. I wanted to be all natural just like my mom and have no drugs. I got over it quickly though. I mean, it was pretty exciting to get to pick her birthday and time, looking at the brighter side of things.
Baby birthday:
We got to the hospital, and Joyanna was born!!! 9 pounds 9 ounces and 20 inches! I dare anyone to tell me that's not a "big" baby and say we should have tried to birth her vaginally especially in the position she was. I'll give you virtual glares. I was doped up, and feeling good for having just had a baby. I had no idea that they were telling me something or other about a "hip click."We stay at the hospital and try to figure out this whole parenting thing. Right when we get the hang of nurses helping us do everything, they send us home! Um, can I get a nurse to go please?!
We get home, we try to figure things out, it is hard. We are tired. The usual stuff. The one thing that was GREAT about Joyanna was that she would sleep anywhere! We would just set her down in her bassinet, she'd somehow be on her side every time we woke up, and be sleeping contently.
First Pediatrician appointment:
"We are setting you up with an orthopedist for her 'hip click'.""Uh, her what?!"
No, just kidding, I'd already been googling at this point and seen and read my fair share of medical articles.
First Orthopedic appointment:
"Her hips are pretty loose, but there isn't anything to worry about yet. Let's get an ultrasound on her hip at 5 weeks, once she's not 'so new' and flexible."Ultrasound appointment number one:
"She's just barely in need of a brace, to err on the side of caution. She'll be in it a few months and won't even remember."The orthopedic doctor also said that she wouldn't even "realize" that she disliked the brace at first. But she did.
So many times as new first time mothers we hear things about spoiling our babies. ENOUGH! My baby is a part of me, and I know me. If I'm upset about something I want comfort, I want to be held.
The first week she had the brace she slept on us. GASP! *Que all the meanies from my birth board on BBC who know everything about motherhood.* The cool thing about the brace is that her legs were in a position that "hugged" my body just perfectly so she was really secure on me once we tucked a blanket around her and my bodies and I slept with my hand on top of her back just in case.
After that first week we have been able to put her back in her bassinet and lay her down to sleep. Mainly thanks to my husband being so skinny and Joyanna's inability to get comfortable laying on him through the night on my "nights off." You go Dad!
The great thing is, she's been in it for 3 almost 4 weeks and time has FLOWN. The only issues it has given us are on our part, and I would much rather bare the burden of the brace than her having to have surgery later on in life. If I can prevent my baby from surgery, you better believe I'm going to!
Here are some helpful tips for "hip babies":
Lysol is your friend.
We aren't supposed to have her out of her brace unless she is bathing, so when she threw up all over it, we had to think fast and clean it. We also had to get rid of the awful smell.
Request a second brace as soon as they will give you one.
We didn't get a second brace until her second appointment two weeks later, but needed it much sooner than that! How else do you think we found out we needed Lysol disinfectant spray?!
Quilts and afghans.
When Joyanna would get laid down in the living room to sleep during the day her little limbs where flying free. Her heavier blankets help to press them down a little bit and keep them from flying around and waking her up, but also don't hyper extend her hips in the process.
 |
| She's saying "Go Cowboys!!!" |
Dresses!
This one I would say is just for the girls, but if you want to put your boy in a dress do what pleases you. I put a white or mostly white with the exception of a graphic on the chest onesie on her under the straps and a dress over the straps! It is cute and helps people to stop bothering you for a little while with the questions.
Speak up.
If you don't want to talk about it, for the most part, people will stop if you ask them...or in my case tell them. If people won't stop talking about it, now is a good time to reconsider that friendship. :p
Also, when people ask to hold the baby, let them know that he/she has to be held differently than a baby without a brace, keeping their legs apart. I know I didn't want to waste all my time I'd put in by holding her special ways to be polite. Here are Joyanna's grandma's holding her.
 |
| Oma (my mom) in the first picture is holding her against her chest with her legs hugging her. |
 |
| Grandma (my mother in law) in this picture is holding her in her lap with her lets still being spread. This is especially a good position for when she is awake and wants to "talk" and interact. If you're like me though and don't have much of a lap, I try putting her against a pillow sitting up and I face her that way. |
and lastly
Mother's intuition and common sense.
"The rules" are still rules for a reason, "back is best" and all that jazz. Sometimes though it is healthy to take a step back from the books and internet and think for ourselves! I know I personally got very stressed out trying to follow all sorts of advice. It was like I forgot that my brain existed and I was allowed to us it to figure things out!
I hope that you're a little more at ease. Good luck, and know that you're a good mom for taking great care of your baby!
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